Tuesday, November 25, 2014

The Id and the Idiom...

"This really speaks to me."  I have heard that all of my days since I started expressing myself online.  Blogging and social media posts are my journey to myself.  They are a portal that opens me up.  I allow myself to be soft here.  Life is hard.  The inspiration that awakens my senses I allow on facebook and in Blogland because it is an expression of my Id that just must be freed.  When I journal it speaks to me, too, but, of course for different reasons. When I express myself online it is shining light in the dark tunnel of why's and how's and what's.  The id is the part of the psyche, residing in the unconscious, that is the source of instinctive impulses that seek satisfaction in accordance with the pleasure principle and are modified by the ego and the superego before they are given overt expression. 
When someone says something really speaks to me, whether it is one of my posts or my art pieces, what that person is saying is, "You made me feel."  What he means when he says that to me is that, "I took his hand and led him to a place he had forgotten he knew."

I have always journaled. 
When Winter Solstice came I would take a Yule log wrapped in all the little findings of the year, a ribbon found in the grass on a warm night, a silver foil, evidence that a kiss opened in that spot by the light of the church near my house, or anything else that represents that time when you realize life is a wonder, and then I would light the log and set my year's journal into the fire. 
Audible gasp... every time I tell that to anyone who writes. 
I know you don't understand, but, I did.
I was going through things that hurt so deeply and other things that meant so much, that to allow there to be dust on that form of expression... to tuck something of my heart into a drawer, for what? for later?
didn't make sense, to me.
The senses are what remind us, re-mind us.
I give myself to myself and have not created a journal to burn for a year now.
I didn't realize, though, what was happening.
By opening to others, again, here, and on facebook, I am finding it is all so very kind and sensual and mutual, this love of life and the way it can feel.
Want to know the secret, the difference?  I may have taken your hand at times, as a reminder that you are beautiful, but, what I have found is that really what I have allowed by opening up online is that you touch my soul and you took my hand and helped me see, again.
Flower photo by Amy Sperry Faldet

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