I had my first under anesthesia experience yesterday, about 3:40 in the afternoon. My goodness, the man says, you will feel relaxed and the nurse rubbed my arm and that was the last I remember until I woke-up softly dreaming of excellent quartered pickles, you know the type you get with a great sandwich and bicycles. Lovely bicycles. I have to post this strange post. Thought I might not, realized, today, I must. I am bittersweet. It is really the first time I can truly say, I am bittersweet. I feel the colors of bittersweet, too; The Alphonse Mucha colors from above, from the vines, too. After four children, I have had the Adianna surgery. I have ended a cycle, of sorts. I received, yesterday, a Alponse Mucha postcard, like the ones above with cycle perfecta, from one of my best friends, Rena Askey. Another friend, Molly, brought food over and my Mom took me to the surgery and got me home, safe, and tucked-in. I know that I have all that I need. I am glad for the children, I have. I look forward to concentrating on them and not having more. I look forward to taking care of the students I will have in the future. It is a cycle I look forward to. I embrace the one that is ending. I feel fine, enough, today. Achy, a little in body and spirit. But, I embrace that, too. It is weird to wake-up after surgery thinking of joy, bicycles, pickles, and the people in your life. I felt very at peace. I still do. I am the circle of good things. I love what was, is, and what will be. I am glad to be a Mother. I am glad to be all the things that I am and are to be. What will I be? A lover, a dreamer, a thinker, a reader, a traveler, maybe, I hope. I am a cycler in my dreams. I see that.
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